The moment you announce you’re expecting, it’s easy to imagine the excitement of your toddler meeting their new sibling. But what about the toddler’s emotions? The transition from being the only child to being a big sibling isn’t always smooth sailing, and it can sometimes feel like you're juggling a toddler-sized meltdown with a baby-sized belly. Don’t worry, though—we’ve got you covered! Here are seven helpful tips to make this shift a little easier (and a lot more fun).
1. Talk Early, Talk Often
Start discussing the baby as soon as you’re comfortable, keeping things simple but frequent. Toddlers have short attention spans, so it’s important to talk about the baby in small doses that they can process.
Point to your growing belly and explain that a baby is coming, but it’s also key to talk about what the arrival of a baby will mean for them. Let them know there will be moments when the baby will need more attention, but that won’t change how much you love them. This will give them time to mentally prepare for what’s to come!
2. Get Them Involved in the Process
The more involved your toddler is in preparing for the baby, the more invested they’ll feel in the whole experience. Let them help pick out baby clothes, set up the nursery, or even choose the baby’s toys. Toddlers love being part of the action, and having a role in this big change can make them feel special and important. Who knew organizing baby socks could be a bonding activity?
3. Keep Routines Consistent
If there’s one thing toddlers love, it’s consistency. It can be tough when your focus shifts to the new baby, but try to keep their routines as regular as possible—same bedtime, same morning routine, same snack time. This small act of normalcy will make them feel secure while navigating the upheaval that comes with a newborn. After all, someone has to maintain order in the chaos!
4. Help Them Understand Sharing Attention
It’s going to be tough for your toddler to grasp the concept of sharing attention, but it helps to talk about it early and often. Explain that the baby will need you sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you love them any less. You can also practice sharing toys with a doll or stuffed animal to set some ground rules for when the baby arrives. Positive reinforcement for their "big kid" behavior, like saying "You’re such a good helper!" will boost their confidence.
5. Understand the "Velcro" Toddler
If your toddler is a clingy, "velcro" child who can’t stand to leave your side, the arrival of a new sibling may feel overwhelming for them. Extra snuggles, hugs, and one-on-one time with you will reassure them during this transition. It can also help to explain, in simple terms, that while the baby will need attention, you'll still make time for them. If needed, practice short separations (hello, quick trip to the grocery store) to show that you always come back.
6. For Independent Kids: Celebrate Their Growing Independence
If you’ve got an independent toddler who’s already doing things like dressing themselves (or at least trying), use this to your advantage! Toddlers who want to do it all on their own may not feel threatened by a new baby, but they will benefit from praise and encouragement. Give them opportunities to be helpful, like holding a bottle or fetching diapers, but remember they also need their own space. Just because they’re your little "independent contractor" doesn’t mean they don’t need a little extra TLC in this big transition.
7. Age Gap Siblings: Emphasize the Fun Side of the Gap
When there’s a big age gap between siblings, your older child may initially feel like a “baby” was just brought in to steal the spotlight. To help, talk about the fun aspects of the age difference. "When your little sibling gets older, you’ll be able to teach them everything you know—like how to play soccer or ride a bike!" This makes them excited about their role as a mentor or helper in the future, and it gives them something to look forward to.
Pro Tip: Don’t make them your automatic babysitter unless they really want to be. It's tempting to have your older child take on a bigger role once the baby arrives, but avoid pressuring them into tasks they don’t want. If they’re excited about helping, awesome! If not, let them know that while their help is appreciated, it's totally okay to take a step back and just enjoy being a kid. After all, there will be plenty of time for sibling bonding without any chores attached!
Final Thoughts
Becoming a big sibling is a huge transition for your toddler (and older kids!), and while the journey won’t be perfect, it will definitely be worth it. By involving them, keeping routines steady, and providing plenty of reassurance, you’ll help them feel supported as they navigate their new role. And when the dust settles, you’ll see that it’s possible to balance the love for your toddler, your newborn and all of your kids—one snuggle at a time.
Feel free to share this with your partner (they’ll thank you later)!
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